One of the fundamental principles of Prophetic education is always to see the positive side of people and highlight their admirable qualities. This principle serves as a vital dynamic in doing good to others, introducing them to virtues, strengthening their inclination toward goodness, and fostering their development as “good/perfect individuals.” Human beings are naturally receptive to suggestion and are influenced by both positive and negative words and comments about them. In the educational process, thepositive and beautiful aspects of individuals should be acknowledged and emphasized. Approaching them through their virtues and goodness can help guide them away from their mistakes, wrongdoings, or negligence. In other words, one should strive to connectwith others through their positive traits and introduce them to further virtues.
This method not only motivates educators, parents, and mentors but also impacts the individual positively, bringing joy, renewing hope, and drawing them closer to truth and righteousness. As Bediüzzaman aptly states, “Those who see beauty think beautifully. Those who think beautifully take pleasure in life.” 1
For those who perceive beauty or goodness tend to develop positive emotions and thoughts, while those who focus on negativity are often burdened by negative feelings, ideas, and perspectives. Approaching individuals with negative emotions often leads to the assumption that they cannot abandon their wrongdoings or become good people, resulting in a loss of hope and enthusiasm from the very beginning. Such an approach can lead to viewing efforts in their education and guidance as unnecessary, thus creating a disconnect from reality and the educational process. Prejudices conditioned by negative thoughts turn individuals into victims of preconceived notions. In contrast, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him), while engaging with and advising people under his care, always approached them positively.
Through constructive and encouraging methods, he sought to connect them with truth and reality. By drawing attention to their good traits or positive qualities, he created the groundwork and environment for effective education and development.
God Values the Goodness of His Servants
From the perspective of divine ethics and appreciation, there is a direct correlation between the goodness people perform and the guidance God bestows upon them. In other words, when God deems it fit to ignite the spark of faith in the hearts of His servants, He does so not only in lightof their will but also based on their past deeds, attitudes, and behaviors. In this regard, God values goodness and does not let even an atom’s weight of good go unrewarded. The respected Hakim Ibn Hizam was a renowned merchant known for his generosity during the pre-Islamic period. He performed numerous charitable acts, such as liberating dozens of slaves and donating over a hundred camels to the poor. After embracing Islam, he continued his acts of charity, liberating a hundred slaves and sacrificing anddistributing the meat of a hundred camels during a pilgrimage season.
One day, this generous companion asked the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him): “O Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him)! During the era of ignorance, I performed acts of charity, freed slaves, engaged in acts of devotion, and maintained family ties. Will I receive any reward for these deeds?” In response, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “You became a Muslim as a result of the goodness you did before.” 2
He reminded Hakim of the transformative power of goodness, saying that “goodness leads a person to truth, and truth leads one to the path of Paradise.” 3
Thus, righteous deeds and acts of kindness prepare a person’s heart for faith, making them worthy of becoming a believer. In this sense, goodness acts like a practical form of supplication. Just as God does not leave sincere verbal supplications unanswered, He also responds to these practical prayers. It is a testament to this principle that God granted the respected Hakim Ibn Hizam an even greater reward for his acts of goodness by guiding him to Islam. For this reason, recognizing people’s good deeds, appreciating them for their virtues, and valuing them accordingly is not only a reflectionof divine ethics but also an essential principle of education and moral upbringing. Moreover, valuing what God values and acting in accordance with His ethics becomes a powerful means to open hearts to truth and righteousness.
A Warning to Those Who Curse a Drinker
There was a man named Abdullah who, with his humorous nature, would sometimes make even the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) smile. One day, Abdullah drank alcohol and was subjected to the prescribed punishment. During this event, one of those present could not contain himself and exclaimed, “May God curse you! How often do you drink and get punished like this, yet you never learn!” Hearing this, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) disapproved of such a harsh and unnecessary outburst. He responded: “No, do not curse him (or others like him)! By God, ever since I have known him, I know that he loves God and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him).” 4
By highlighting one of Abdullah’s virtuous qualities, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) demonstrated that one should focus on a person’s goodness rather than their faults, aiming to lift them up rather than push them down.This incident shows that even after punishing someone for their wrongdoing, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not dwell on the sin or the punishment. Instead, he emphasized the individual’s positive traits, corrected the negative perceptions of those around him, and took the first steps toward reintegrating the person into the community. By doing so, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) highlighted that the ultimate goal is not to punish but to win over hearts. Harsh words that wound feelings, condemn individuals for their mistakes, and ostracize themfrom society can lead to their complete alienation.
Such an approach effectively closes the door to repentance and drives the person further away from goodness. On the other hand, negative actions and words repel and push people away, while expressing love and recognizing virtues draws people closer. This approach strengthens the bond between the individual and their teacher or guide, fostering sincerity and hope for reform.
Embracing a Person Punished for Their Wrongdoing
On another occasion, a man who had not yet managed to give up his habit of drinking alcohol was brought before the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him). As the prescribed punishment was being carried out, some of those witnessing the scene began to insult him, saying, “May God disgrace and humiliate you!” Witnessing this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) intervened, saying: “No! Do not say such things. Do not assist Satan against your brother!” 5
Here again, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) enforced the punishment required for the sin but immediately stopped those who sought to demean the individual. He prevented the person from being completely ostracized or pushed into Satan’s grasp. By addressing the onlookers and referring to the individual as “your brother”—a term the person himself could hear—he aimed to uplift him emotionally, steer him away from his wrongdoing, and stop the formation of lasting negative sentiments toward him within the community.The Prophet’s (peace and blessings beupon him) message was clear: “Even if he has committed this sin, he remains your brother. Do not criticize him for his mistake in a way that delivers him into Satan’s hands. Instead, use kind words and reclaim him as your brother.
Embrace him, so he refrains from continuing his wrongdoing and sees you, not Satan, as his true ally.” By prohibiting cursing or verbal condemnation, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) safeguarded the individual from social exclusion. He preserved the person’s connection to the Islamic community and guided them toward overcoming their faults. Otherwise, adding verbal abuse, curses, or public humiliation to the punishment could alienate the person from their faith and lead them to abandon the Muslim community altogether.
The Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) Approach to Complaints About a Companion
Some companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) once came to him with a complaint about the respected Abdullah ibn Huzafah saying, “O Messenger ofGod (peace and blessings be upon him)! Abdullah jokes excessively and engages in frivolous behavior.” In response, the Beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Do not bother him, for he truly loves God and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him).” 6
Here again, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not focus on the fault or shortcomings being reported. Instead, he highlighted a significant virtue of Abdullah and used this opportunity to send a message to both Abdullah and those who complained about him. He taught them to focus on the good qualities of individuals rather than their mistakes, demonstrating a balanced and constructive approach to dealing with human shortcomings. This gentle correction from the Prophet (peaceand blessings be upon him) bore fruit. Both those who brought the complaint and the respected Abdullah himself learned from this interaction. The individuals involved reflected on the Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) words, corrected their behavior, and worked on their shortcomings.
The Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) Response to an Accusation About Malik ibn Dukhshum
The respected Itban ibn Malik served as the imam of the Salim clan in his region. However, a valley lay between hishome and the mosque, and during rains, crossing the valley became difficult, preventing him from attending prayers. He approached the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) explaining his situation and requesting that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) come to his home, lead a prayer, and designate a specific spot as a mosque. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) responded, “Inshaallah, I will fulfill your request,” and sent him off. The next morning, after the sun had risen, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) accompanied by the respected Abu Bakr visited Itban’s home. Before sitting down, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked where Itban wanted him to pray. Itban indicated the spot, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) started the prayer, with others present following him.
After the prayer, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) accepted the hospitality offered and engaged in conversation with the residents of the area. During the discussion, someone asked, “Where is Malik ibn Dukhshum? I don’t see him here.” Another person replied, “Forget about him! He is a hypocrite who does not love the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him).” Hearing this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) immediately intervened, saying, “No! Do not say such a thing. Don’t you see that he says ‘La ilaha illallah’ seeking God’s pleasure?” The person persisted, saying, “God and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) know best, but we see him associating with hypocrites and spending time with them.” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) responded: “God has forbidden the Hellfire for anyone who sincerely says ‘La ilaha illallah’ seeking His pleasure.” 7
The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) defended his companion, about whom a negative perception had formed due to his frequent interactions with hypocrites, and dispelled the suspicions about him. While doing so, he particularly emphasized the companion’s sincerity and his sole aspiration for God’s pleasure. Through this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) corrected the public’s view of him, put an end to the rumors, and made a statement that would bolster Malik’s faith and steadfastness when it reached his ears. Consequently, upon hearing this, Malik became more cautious and began to avoid situations that could lead to suspicion.
The Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) Advice to Qatadah Regarding Criticism of the Quraysh
After the Battle of Uhud, upon witnessing the atrocities committed by the polytheists against the martyrs, Qatadah (RA) could not contain his anger and began to speak ill of the Quraysh. Hearing this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught him an important lesson, saying: “Calm down, O Qatadah! Do not speak ill of the Quraysh! In truth, they are trustworthy people when it comes to responsibilities. A day will come when you will see such individuals among them whose deeds and goodness will make you regard your own deeds and virtues as insignificant. If the Quraysh were not at risk of becoming arrogant, I would have informed you about what God has prepared for them.” 8
This incident clearly illustrates that the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) did not evaluate individuals solely based on their current wrongdoings. Instead, he focused on their positive traits and potential futures, aiming to win their hearts.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also considered that those who showed such determination and fervor in evil could, if guided correctly, become equally or even more committed to good. He imparted this perspective to his companions, advising Qatadah not to judge the Quraysh solely based on their present actions, and encouraged him to look toward the future.By doing so, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) not only protected Qatadah from making hasty judgments based on the current circumstances but also offered an uplifting prophecy about the future. Through his words, he emphasized the importance of maintaining positive thoughts about people, expressing good wishes for them, and the transformative power of such an attitude in winning hearts over righteousness. As the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) foretold, his prediction came true. With the conquest of Mecca, the Quraysh embraced Islam, and many of them became staunch supporters and leaders of the faith. Among them was the respected Khalid ibn al-Walid, whose immense contributions to Islam are well-known.
Conclusion
In the journey of human education and character refinement, alongside systematic and planned efforts imbued with love, respect, and sincerity, a critical principle is to first recognize the good and positive aspects of an individual. It is equally vital to maintain a disposition of goodwill and express kind words about them. The Qur’an beautifully illustrates this concept by likening kind words to a firmly rooted tree that bears fruit in every season: “A good word is like a good tree—its roots are firm and its branches are in the sky, yielding its fruit at all times by the permission of its Lord…” 9
This wisdom is why the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) declared, “A kind word is a charity.” 10
Kind words and constructive remarks fulfill a significant emotional and spiritual need, nurturing sincerity and integrity within the heart of the listener.Conversely, the Qur’an highlights the futility of harsh or unkind words with another tree analogy: “And the parable of a bad word is that of a bad tree—uprooted from the surface of the earth, having no stability.” 11
Thus, those tasked with educating and guiding others must refrain from adopting a harsh or derogatory attitude, resorting to curses, condemnation, or negative judgments toward those who err. Such an approach offers no constructive benefit to the individual.Educators and mentors seeking to help individuals overcome faults, correct mistakes, or compensate for deficiencies should begin by acknowledging and highlighting the person’s existing virtues and strengths. By focusing on these positives, they can guide individuals toward greater virtues and help them address their shortcomings.
The goal is not to leave a person defined by their faults or missteps but to help them transcend these limitations. This requires the educator to deeply understand the individual, recognize their flaws and deficiencies, but choose not to dwell on these. Instead, they should approach the person through their virtues, using this connection to lead them away from negative traits and toward a life enriched with goodness.
Author: Dr. Selim Koç
References:
1.Bediüzzaman Said Nursi, The Letters, New Jersey: The Light, 2014, p. 445–458.
2.Bukhari, Zakat24 (1436); Buyu’100 (2220); Itq12 (2538); Adab16 (5992); Muslim, Faith55/194-196 (123).
3.See Bukhari, Adab69 (6094); Muslim, Righteousness29/103-105 (2607).
4.Bukhari, Hudud5 (6780).
5.Bukhari, Hudud4 (6777).
6.Muhammad Nasir al-Albani, Irwa’ al-Ghalil, VIII/157.
7.Bukhari, Prayer46 (425); Tahajjud36 (1186); Foods15 (5401); Calling Apostates to Repentance9 (6938); Muslim, Faith10/54 (33).
8.Tabarani, Mu’jam al-Kabir14745.
9.Ibrahim, 14:24-25.
10.Bukhari, Jihad, 128 (2989); Muslim, Zakat17/56 (1009).
11.Ibrahim, 14:26.