As social beings, humans hold various responsibilities toward themselves, their surroundings, and ultimately, the Supreme Creator who granted them life. To fulfill these responsibilities, one must first develop a sense of accountability. This awareness, embedded in human nature as a latent potential, can only flourish through education, learning, and experience.
Responsibility involves fulfilling one’s duties toward the family or society they live in, respecting others’ rights in all forms, harmonizing with those around them, and taking ownership of the consequences of their actions, whether good or bad. A responsible individual is one who possesses moral values, filters their actions through reason, logic, and beliefs, understands the boundaries of their own freedom, and carefully respects the rights of others.
Responsibility is crucial for human development—not only intellectually, physically, and mentally but also emotionally and socially. In this regard, it is one of the most essential traits for leading a successful and peaceful life in this world and achieving salvation in the hereafter. Both the Qur’an and the Sunnah provide numerous admonitions and recommendations aimed at instilling and nurturing this sense of responsibility in children and young people:
Humans Are Accountable for Their Actions!
From childhood onward, the principle that a person is accountable for all of their actions should be instilled in the subconscious and mind. In this regard, the respected Luqman imparts a lesson on responsibility to his son, saying, “Even if something is as small as a mustard seed, and is hidden within a rock, in the heavens, or deep within the earth, God will bring it forth to be weighed and accounted for.” 1
This teaching, emphasized frequently in the Qur’an, is closely connected to faith in the Hereafter and stands as one of its central themes. Furthermore, the Qur’an states, “Does man think he will be left aimless, without purpose or responsibility?” 2 underscoring that humanity is never free from this sense of accountability. This consciousness of responsibility is conveyed powerfully, asserting that even the smallest deeds, whether good or bad, will hold a person accountable. 3 Additionally, it is highlighted that individuals should not fall into the delusion of believing they can rely on their wealth or power to avoid being seen or held accountable for their actions. 4
Responsibility Is Personal!
In instilling this sense of responsibility, it is essential to emphasize the principle of “personal responsibility.” According to the Qur’an, people will be accountable for their own actions: “No soul laden with sin shall bear the burden of another. And if a heavily burdened soul calls upon another to carry any of its load, none of it will be carried by the other, even if they are close relatives.” 5 Furthermore, it says, “Say, ‘You are not accountable for what we have done, and we will not be questioned about what you have done.’” 6 Each individual will answer for their words, promises, actions, and conduct: “Do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Surely the hearing, the sight, and the heart—each of these will be questioned.” 7 These foundational principles of responsibility should be imparted to children and youth in an age-appropriate manner, embedding a deep sense of accountability in their subconscious.
Cultivating a Sense of Responsibility
Teaching responsibility requires significant effort, a structured process, and patience. Fostering this awareness in someone so that it becomes an intrinsic aspect of their character cannot be achieved through a few lessons or simple encouragement. A carefully designed roadmap is needed, along with a commitment to follow it attentively.
Love, Show Compassion, and Respect First!
The foundation of teaching responsibility lies in love, compassion, and respect. When individuals are raised in a family environment where they receive sufficient love, compassion, and respect, they also begin to develop self-confidence and a sense of responsibility. God (may His glory be exalted) instills love and compassion in the hearts of parents even before their child is born.
As soon as the child comes into the world, both parents immediately pour attention upon them and lovingly care for them, often sacrificing sleep and enduring many challenges to nurture their child. A child’s first lessons in responsibility thus come from witnessing this deep sense of duty in parents, who care for them with love and compassion. This dedicated attention helps the child’s sense of responsibility take root and grow, highlighting the importance of a healthy family environment. The Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) saying, “Those who do not show mercy and compassion to the young are not from us,” further emphasizes this value.
Assigning Responsibilities According to Ability and Strength
As children grow, they should naturally be given certain tasks and responsibilities appropriate to their age and strength. The development of a skill or capacity depends on actively engaging it; otherwise, unused talents or qualities can gradually diminish. However, assigning children or young people burdens beyond their capacity does not benefit them and may instead lead to a habit of avoiding responsibility altogether. In this regard, the Qur’an states, “God does not burden any soul beyond what it can bear,” 8 signifying that individuals should not be tasked with responsibilities that exceed their capacity.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also assigned responsibilities to children and youth in his care according to their abilities, helping them develop a sense of responsibility and preparing a capable cadre for future needs in various fields. For instance, at the time of the Prophet’s emigration, Zayd ibn Thabit was an exceptionally intelligent eleven-year-old. Recognizing this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked him to learn Hebrew and Syriac to assist in his communications with Jewish communities, which Zayd mastered in a short time. He was also appointed as a scribe of revelation, laying the groundwork for his future expertise in Qur’anic sciences. Yet, recognizing that Zayd was too young to bear the burdens of battle, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not allow him to join the Uhud campaign, instead assigning him the responsibility of watching over those who remained behind. 9
Responsibility Cannot Be Instilled Through Force or Pressure!
For children and young people to develop a sense of responsibility, it is essential to respect their will and choices, avoiding any form of coercion. Instead of pressure, they should be presented with options suited to their age and abilities, allowing them freedom to choose. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also never imposed his message upon others or exerted pressure on their will. 10
Even when inviting ten-year-old Ali, whom he was raising, to embrace Islam, he respected Ali’s autonomy and did not pressure him. He simply conveyed the truth and advised him, considering the circumstances in Mecca, to keep it private and consult his father if needed. The respected Ali pondered over the Prophet’s words all night and returned in the morning, saying, “God did not consult Abu Talib when He created me, so why should I consult him to believe in and worship God?” With this, he embraced Islam.
When Abu Talib heard of his son’s decision, he asked, “My son, what is this religion you have chosen?” Ali replied, “Father, I have believed in Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), affirmed what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has brought, followed him, and prayed with him.” In response, Abu Talib’s reply exemplified a profound respect for freedom of belief and conscience: “My son, it suits you to enter the religion of your cousin by your own choice. He always calls you to goodness. Continue to follow him.” 11
Do Not Give In to Anger, Be Patient!
When instilling and nurturing a sense of responsibility, it is crucial for parents, teachers, or mentors to avoid giving in to anger and instead practice patience. Children and young people may sometimes make mistakes or cause disruptions while carrying out their tasks. In these situations, rather than getting angry, it is far more effective to talk with them, encourage them by expressing confidence in their abilities, and guide them on how to improve.
The respected Anas ibn Malik, who stayed with the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) from the age of ten to twenty, learning from him while also serving him, described the Prophet’s approach to teaching in this regard: “I served the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) for ten years. During that time, not every task I did met his expectations. Yet he never said to me, ‘Why did you do that?’ or ‘That was poorly done!’ Nor did he say about something I had not done, ‘Why didn’t you do that?’ He never rebuked, shamed, hurt, frowned at, or struck me. He never even said ‘uff’ to me once.” 12 Thus, a gentle, constructive, and instructive tone should always replace anger. Otherwise, bursts of anger may undermine and undo the progress that has been made up to that point.
Don’t Do Their Work for Them!
When assigning tasks to children and young people to develop their sense of responsibility, these tasks should be completed entirely by them. While it may be helpful to guide or motivate those who neglect or fail to complete their duties, fully taking over their responsibilities for them can harm their development. Consistently stepping in to complete a neglected task will lead to laziness, complacency, and even indifference, as they might start thinking, “My duties will be done for me anyway!”
To instill this principle, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) emphasized that “Everyone should perform their own tasks.” Once, when the respected Abu Huraira offered to carry items the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had purchased from the market, the Prophet replied, “It is better for the owner of something to carry it. But if they are unable, then a fellow Muslim can help.” 13 He then declined to hand over his items. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) managed his own tasks whenever possible—even at home, he would sew his clothes, clean them, repair his shoes, milk his sheep, and assist his family. 14 The Companions, having learned this principle from him, would act similarly. If a whip fell from their mount, they would dismount and retrieve it themselves instead of asking for help. 15
Be a Role Model!
Children and young people observe the actions of their parents, teachers, and mentors, often learning by modeling their behavior. Thus, those wishing to instill responsibility must first set an example of responsible behavior themselves. Words are often less impactful than actions, and young people are more influenced by what they see than by what they are told. In this respect, all prophets were sent as exemplary figures to their people, and the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was sent as the ultimate example for all humanity. 16
In the mission of prophethood, embodying the message is always more powerful than preaching it. No prophet instructed others to do something they themselves did not practice. In the Qur’an, believers are admonished, “O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do?” underscoring that such inconsistency leads to ineffectiveness among people and is greatly displeasing to Allah. 17
Acknowledge Their Efforts When They Fulfill Their Responsibilities!
An essential part of fostering responsibility in children and young people is acknowledging and celebrating their efforts when they fulfill their duties. This not only motivates them but also encourages them to continue meeting their responsibilities. Simple words of appreciation like “Well done! Thank you so much!” provide meaningful encouragement, supporting them emotionally and strengthening their confidence and sense of responsibility. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) exemplified this approach, serving as an appreciative guide to his Companions, recognizing their efforts, and nurturing their sense of responsibility.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) frequently expressed appreciation in various ways to those who dutifully fulfilled their roles. For instance, he honored the respected Hamza with the title “Asadullah” (Lion of Allah), Khalid ibn al-Walid as “Sayfullah” (Sword of Allah), Zubayr ibn al-Awwam as “Hawari” (Close Supporter), and Ubaydah ibn al-Jarrah as “Aminullah” (Trustworthy Servant of Allah).
These titles not only acknowledged their unique talents but also set an example of responsibility for future generations. Similarly, he praised the women of the Ansar for their commitment to learning, saying, “What exemplary women the women of the Ansar are, that their sense of modesty does not prevent them from seeking knowledge,” 18 acknowledging both their passion for knowledge and their sense of duty and setting them as role models. The Prophet’s expressions of appreciation inspired his Companions, reinforcing their sense of responsibility and encouraging them to live with greater mindfulness and care.
Conclusion
A sense of responsibility is an invaluable attribute with no substitute in the formation and maturity of one’s character. It stands as one of the most defining qualities of being truly human. A person who possesses a strong sense of responsibility behaves justly and equitably toward their Creator, themselves, and those around them, avoiding all forms of injustice.
Such an individual respects and maintains balance in their actions toward themselves and others, fulfills their duties and responsibilities without fail, and does not become a burden on others. By living in this way, they bring peace and security to their family and community. Conversely, a person devoid of this sense of responsibility becomes the root of various problems.
Author: Dr. Selim Koç
Footnotes:
1.Surah Luqman, 31:16
2.Surah Qiyamah, 75:36
3.See Surah Al-Zalzalah, 99:7-8; Surah Al-Nahl, 16:93
4.See Surah Al-Balad, 90:5-7
5.Surah Fatir, 35:18
6.Surah Saba, 34:25; See also Surah Yunus, 10:41
7.Surah Al-Isra, 17:34, 36
8.Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:286
9.For detailed information, visit:
10.See Surah Qaf, 50:45
11.See Ibn al-Athir, Usd al-Ghabah, p. 871, 872
12.Bukhari, Adab 39; Abu Dawood, Adab 1; Muslim, Fada’il 13/51, 52, 53 (2309)
13.Qadi Iyad, Al-Shifa, I/117
14.See Bukhari, Adhan 44; Ibn Hibban, Sahih (5677)
15.See Muslim, Zakat 36/108 (1043)
16.See Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:21
17.See Surah Al-Saff, 61:2-3
18.Muslim, Hayd 65; Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Musnad, VI/148