Principles of Prophetic Education (2): “Love and Be Compassionate!”

Love And Compassion in Islam

The essence and foundation of education is love. Compassion is the reflection of love in life and its transformation into action. In this regard, mercy/compassion is the fruit of love, and love is the seed of mercy. Without these two fundamental dynamics, education and teaching cannot be conceived.

Indeed, the most effective two basic dynamics that open and strengthen the mind and reasoning, and nourish and fortify the memory, are love and compassion. Without love, it is impossible to endear knowledge and the teacher, and without compassion, it is impossible to warm and open the doors of the heart to the truths. This is why these two principles were at the core of the educational approach of God’s Messenger (peace and blessing be upon him). He acted with love and compassion toward his children, his students, and his Companions, and he recommended this approach as well.

Love and Speak for the Sake of God!

Education is an act of love, and expressing love in education is as important as loving itself; it is a significant Sunnah. If a child or young person knows they are loved and this is expressed to them, they will love both the teacher and the lesson. Otherwise, unspoken love cannot fulfill its potential and cannot contribute to education. Therefore, it is wrong to refrain from expressing love with thoughts like “If I say I love them, I will lose my authority, or they will become spoiled.” Unexpressed love is often unknown, and this uncertainty can create a disconnect between the student and the teacher, and vice versa. As a result, teachers and students at school, and parents and children at home, become strangers temporarily sharing the same environment.

That is why the method applied and recommended by God’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) in education is love and the clear expression of love: “Let anyone among you inform their brother that they love them for the sake of God.” 1 Indeed, when someone came to visit the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in the mosque and pointed to a Companion, saying, “O Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him)! I love this person very much,” the Prophet asked, “Have you told him?” When the person replied, “No,” the Prophet said, “Go and tell him that you love him.” The man then went to the Companion and expressed his love for him for the sake of God. The Companion responded with a prayer, “May the One whom you love me for also love you.” 2

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) lived by this principle and frequently expressed his love for his Companions, their children, his own family, and his grandchildren through various means. For example, he would take his grandchildren into his arms, embrace and kiss them with affection. He would not stop there but would also pray for them in a way that those present could hear, saying, “O my Lord! Have mercy on them! I love them very much and feel deep compassion for them; so please love them as well!” 3

Once, while his grandson Husayn was playing with his friends in the street, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) saw him and called him over. However, Husayn was so engrossed in his play that he did not heed his grandfather’s call. Thereupon, the Prophet, laughing, ran after him to catch him, and as his grandson tried to escape, the Prophet caught him and took him into his arms. After affectionately embracing him, he said, “Husayn is from me, and I am from Husayn. I love Husayn very much. Whoever loves God loves Husayn as well. He is my grandson.”4

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) would also show his affection for his grandchildren in the presence of his Companions, serving as an example of raising children with love. On one occasion, he seated one of his grandchildren on his right knee and the other on his left knee, gazing at them with eyes full of compassion. One of the Companions, moved by this sweet scene, asked, “O Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him)! Do you love them very much?” The Prophet replied, “Whoever loves them loves me! Whoever harbors ill feelings towards them harbors ill feelings towards me.” 5 Thus, he taught that those who are loved should also be loved by others.

Therefore, the first education in the home is the education of love and compassion, which is received from the parents. In the words of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him), “Love is inherited.” 6 The way to achieve this is through loving, expressing it in the best manner, and transforming love into compassion, mercy, tolerance, and gentleness in one’s life. At the same time, it should be recognized that this is a right.

The Most Obvious Reflection of Love: Compassion

Just as a mother’s milk is crucial for a child’s physical development, love is equally important for their emotional growth. Love is the dynamic force that nurtures and brings to life all kinds of goodness and beauty inherent in a child’s pure nature. However, a so-called love that does not transform into attention, compassion, and mercy has little to no educational value. In other words, what gives love its impact is its transformation into care, compassion, and mercy. In this regard, compassion and mercy are the sweetest and most nourishing fruits of love. The life of the Prophet of Love and Mercy is filled with many examples of this.

While introducing us to this aspect of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him), Anas ibn Malik, who served him for ten uninterrupted years, said, “The Prophet was the most compassionate person towards children. His son Ibrahim had a wet nurse in the district of Awali in Medina. Sometimes, he would take me along when he went to visit him. When we arrived at the blacksmith’s house, he would enter, embrace his son, smell him, kiss him, spend some time with him, and then we would return.” 7

Regarding another observed incident, Anas narrated, “Once, I saw the Prophet giving a sermon. I noticed Hasan was on his knee. He would speak to the congregation, then lean over to kiss the child, and say, ‘I love him very much,’ thus expressing his love.” 8

Abu Burayda recounts a similar example: The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) was delivering a sermon when Hasan and Husayn entered the mosque. They were walking, running, and occasionally stumbling and falling. Seeing this, the Prophet immediately paused his sermon, descended from the pulpit, embraced them, and brought them to sit in front of him. Then, before resuming his sermon, he turned to the congregation and said, “Indeed, God has spoken the truth when He says, ‘Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and only with God is a great reward.’ 9 I saw these two little ones and couldn’t bear to continue when I saw them fall while walking. So, I interrupted my speech and brought them here.” 10

A Person Who Shows Compassion Even During Congregational Prayer!

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) never neglected his compassion for children, even during moments of worship, as long as it did not disrupt his prayers. For instance, once, when he came to the mosque to lead the night prayer, he brought one of his grandchildren with him. As he began the prayer, he seated the child beside him, but when he went into prostration, the child climbed onto his back. The prostration extended longer than usual, and the congregation, unaware of what was happening, wondered, “Has something happened to the Prophet? Or is he receiving revelation?” When the prayer was completed, they inquired about the situation. The Prophet, highlighting his act of compassion, responded, “No, none of these things happened. When my grandchild climbed onto my back during prostration, I did not want to disturb him by cutting short his play. That is why I prolonged my prostration.” 11

Another manifestation of the Prophet’s compassion is his consideration of the congregation’s overall situation during worship, especially thinking of the elderly and mothers with children. He said, “Sometimes I begin a prayer intending to make it long, but then I hear a child crying. Considering the distress the child’s mother would feel, I shorten my recitation.” 12 The Prophet of Mercy (peace and blessings be upon him), when torn between prayer and a mother’s heart, would let his compassion prevail and choose to accommodate the mother.

His Compassion Embraced All Children

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) did not reserve his love and compassion only for his own children and grandchildren but extended it to all the children of his Companions. For example, Jabir ibn Samura recounts one of his memories: “We had just finished the noon prayer with the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him). He got up to go to his family, and I followed him out. When the children standing at the end of the street saw him, they ran to greet him, and I mingled with them. The Prophet showed affection to each one of them and caressed their cheeks. When my turn came, he loved and caressed me too. At that moment, I felt a cool and pleasant scent from his hand.”13

Sa’id ibn Zayd recounts: “In my childhood, my aunt took me with her when she went to visit the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him). He stroked my head and prayed for me.”14

Amr ibn Hurayra also describes how his mother took him to the Prophet. The Prophet stroked his head and prayed to God for abundant sustenance for him. 15 Abdullah ibn Salam took his son Yusuf to the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) upon his birth. The Prophet took the child in his arms, named him, and gently stroked his head. 16 Ibn al-Rabi’ ibn al-Haris narrates:

“My father sent me, and Abbas sent his son Fadl to the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him). When we entered, the Prophet seated us on his right and left knees. He embraced us with such tenderness and closeness that we had never before experienced such sincere affection.” 17

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) even went so far as to extend his love, attention, and compassion to children by addressing their concerns. When the father of Bashir ibn Aqra was martyred at Uhud, the Prophet visited their home after the Battle of Hamra al-Asad. Seeing that Bashir was crying, the Prophet took an interest in him and comforted him by saying, “Do not cry! Would you not want me to be your father and Aisha to be your mother?” Bashir was very happy with this offer and replied, “Yes.” 18 Thus, he now had a compassionate father who embraced him.

One Who Does Not Show Compassion Is Not One of Us!

When a Bedouin saw the Prophet kissing his grandchildren, he was astonished and said, “Do you kiss your children? I have ten children and have never kissed any of them!” The Prophet replied, “Those who do not show mercy will not be shown mercy.” On another occasion, when someone gave a similar reaction, the Prophet said, “If God has removed mercy from your heart, what can I do!” 20

This was a clear warning against depriving children of love and compassion. To emphasize this warning further, he said, “He who does not love and show mercy to children is not one of us,” 21 placing the love of children at the heart of his educational philosophy. He also pointed out the dire consequences of lacking compassion by stating, “Mercy is only removed from those who are wretched.” The Prophet praised the women of the Quraysh tribe for their great compassion towards their children and, in doing so, acknowledged and appreciated all compassionate mothers, fathers, and teachers who would come until the Day of Judgment.

Conclusion

Love is an inherent, natural emotion embedded within human nature. This feeling, placed in human nature by God, should be developed and nurtured through education and instruction. As Bediüzzaman Said Nursi expressed, “Human beings are sent to this world for refinement through learning.” This process primarily occurs within the environment of love and compassion created by parents, then in the affectionate atmosphere provided by teachers, and finally within the loving and compassionate social environment built by a conscious society.

Therefore, the foundation and culmination of education are love and compassion. However, it is the parents and teachers who can transform their love into compassion who truly invest effort. Indeed, education requires both love and effort. Mere love without effort is meaningless and cannot be a source of life for the student. From this perspective, love and compassion motivate and establish a strong bond between parents and children or between teachers and students. Without this bond, the necessary motivation for effective education and teaching cannot be achieved.

Author: Dr. Selim Koç

Footnotes:

1.See Tirmidhi, Zuhd 54 (2392); Abu Dawud, Adab 122 (5125)

2.Abu Dawud, Adab 122 (5125)

3.Bukhari, Fada’il al-Sahaba 18; Muslim, Fada’il al-Sahaba 57-59

4.Ibn Majah, Muqaddima 11; Hakim, Mustadrak, III/177

5.See Ibn Sa’d, Tabaqat, VI/360-362

6.Bukhari, Adab al-Mufrad, p. 15 (43)

7.Bukhari, Adab 18; Muslim, Fada’il 63

8.Muslim, Fada’il al-Sahaba 56

9.Taghabun, 64/15

10.Bukhari, Fitn 20; Abu Dawud, Salat 225-227 (1109); Tirmidhi, Manaqib 30 (3774)

11.Nasai, Tatbiq 82. Similarly, a reported incident involves his grandson Abu Umama. The Prophet would sometimes bring him to the mosque on his shoulder and stand for prayer.

When going into bowing, he would set him down, and upon standing up, he would place him back on his shoulder. Bukhari, Salat 106, Adab 18; Muslim, Masajid 41

12.Bukhari, Azan 65

13.Muslim, Fada’il 80

14.Bukhari, Da’awat 30

15.Bukhari, Adab al-Mufrad p. 221 (632)

16.Bukhari, Adab al-Mufrad p. 134 (367)

17.Ibn Hajar, al-Matalib al-’Aliya, II/441

18.Bukhari, Tarikh al-Kabir, II/78

19.Muslim, Fada’il 65; Tirmidhi, Birr 12

20.Bukhari, Adab 18; Muslim, Fada’il 164

21.Abu Dawud, Adab 66 (4943); Tirmidhi, Birr 15 (1919)