The Principles of Prophetic Education (6): “Inspire Love, Do Not Cause Hatred!”

One of the fundamental principles of Prophetic education is the principle of “Inspire love, do not cause hatred.” Accordingly, those who are responsible for raising individuals or managing and reforming society should use methods that encourage the recipient to follow the truth with love and interest while conveying the message of righteousness and reality to their hearts. To achieve this, the educator must not only love knowledge but also love teaching as much as they love learning, and they must also love their students as much as they love teaching. This way, they can raise generations who both love knowledge and desire to practice it.

Indeed, the foundation of education and teaching is love, and love is the soul of education. It is exemplary teachers and guides who will carry and establish love in educational institutions. They must be devoted to love and use methods, styles, and approaches in teaching and training that will instill affection. At the same time, they must avoid attitudes and behaviors that could foster hatred toward themselves or the values they are conveying.

The Encouraging Approach Inspires Love!

Using an encouraging tone when explaining and teaching the truths of faith makes knowledge, education, and learning more appealing. For this reason, just like all other Prophets, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) 1 was sent as a “Bearer of Good News” (Bashir, Mubashshir). 2 The term Bashir refers to “one who encourages people towards the right path by

giving good news, guiding them towards good deeds with love and admiration, and setting high goals by promising rewards—a cheerful and kind-hearted bringer of glad tidings.” The counterpart to Bashir is Nadhir, which means “one who informs people of the bad consequences of mistakes and sins, warns them of the dangers of living a life distant from obedience and worship to God, and thus cautions them against falling into destruction in this world and the Hereafter—a compassionate warner.”

In this sense, Bashir involves encouragement, making things beloved, motivating, and inspiring admiration. Meanwhile, Nadhir involves warning, promoting caution, and keeping people away from evil with the intention of protection. However, even when doing so, it is done with compassion and mercy, without fostering hatred. Therefore, the Prophet’s attribute of Bashir clearly embodies the principle of “inspire love,” while his attribute of Nadhir reflects the principle of “do not cause hatred.”

The Prophet motivated people towards goodness with a joyful and loving approach, and when warning them about the consequences of evil, he fulfilled this duty without generating hatred. He left this principle as a legacy to his community in the form of his Sunnah.

A Friendly Face and a Smile Inspire Love!

In the context of conveying messages, teaching, and training, a smiling face is an important means of fostering love and avoiding hatred. A friendly face not only makes people like the person but also makes them more receptive to their words. On the contrary, people tend to dislike and distance themselves from those with frowning faces, making them less willing to listen or learn from such individuals. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was always a cheerful person. He encouraged his Companions to always be smiling, saying, “Smiling at your brother is an act of charity.” He viewed this act as a form of worship. 3

The Prophet also said, “Do not belittle any good deed, even if it is just meeting your brother with a cheerful face,” 4 highlighting the importance of a smile in relationships and leaving it as a Sunnah for his followers. According to his teachings, a smile is one of the easiest ways to show kindness and win hearts. He said, “You cannot satisfy people with your wealth, but you can embrace them with a cheerful face and good character.” 5

Therefore, every educator and guide should maintain a smile to make both themselves and the truths they are teaching appealing to others. Even when feeling tired or facing difficulties, one should not let these emotions affect their interactions with others. Instead, they should greet people with a smile and speak kindly. This approach will draw people closer to both the individual and the truths they are conveying, strengthening bonds of unity, cooperation, and sincerity.

Kind Words and Gentle Speech Inspire Love!

One of the key dynamics that makes education and teaching more appealing, and facilitates the work of educators and guides, is the use of kind words and gentle speech. In contrast, those who speak harshly and with anger tend to make their audience uncomfortable, driving them away from learning and fostering feelings of dislike. For this reason, all Prophets sent to guide humanity conveyed the truth with gentle speech, and invited and warned people with the most beautiful manner of speaking.

The Qur’an offers an example of this when it recounts how Prophet Musa (Moses) and Prophet Harun (Aaron) were sent to address Pharaoh. It says: “Go to Pharaoh, for he has indeed transgressed all bounds. But speak to him gently, so that perhaps he may take heed or fear [God]”. 6 This shows that speech is not just about sounds and words coming from the mouth. As our ancestors said, “Style is the person.” The way we speak—whether gently or harshly—the words we choose, the tone of voice, the facial expressions we use, and the speaker’s sincerity all reflect their character and moral values. Thus, communication delivered with gentle and sweet words has a far greater impact on the listener.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) pointed to this truth when he said, “God is Gentle, and He loves gentleness in all things. Indeed, He gives for gentleness what He does not give for harshness or anything else.” 7 For this reason, the Prophet also stated as a general principle, “Whoever is deprived of gentleness is deprived of all goodness,” 8 emphasizing that educators and guides who do not adopt this approach in their work will not succeed.

Not only did the Prophet offer these guidelines, but he also personally applied them, always approaching his audience with wisdom and kind advice. 9 Even when others wronged him, he responded with forgiveness and avoided any form of harshness or severity. 10 Furthermore, when dealing with those who opposed him, he adhered to the Qur’anic command, “And argue with them in the best manner,” 11 and never compromised on his principles of justice, moral conduct, and uprightness.

“Not Cause Hatred!”

In connection with the principle of “Inspire love,” the hadith also highlights the important guideline of “Do not cause hatred.” With this, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) emphasized always being constructive and, while building on one side, not causing harm on the other. Additionally, following the rule “Things are known by their opposites,” he mentioned the importance of not causing hatred to underscore the same point. Therefore, this principle is extremely important in both preaching and education, as it is a crucial aspect of the Sunnah. In environments where hatred prevails, it is impossible to speak of preaching, teaching, or training that penetrates the heart and affects the soul.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) often reminded his Companions of this principle through various situations and complaints. On one occasion, a Companion came to him and complained that the imam at the mosque in his neighborhood was reciting long passages during the Fajr prayer, which made him not want to attend the congregation. Upon hearing this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) became very upset, stood up, and said, “O people! Some of you are driving people away! Whoever leads the prayer should shorten it, for among the congregation are the elderly, the weak, and those with needs.” 12 Similarly, when it was reported to him that the respected Mu’adh had prolonged his prayer, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned him by saying, “Are you a source of fitna (distress)?” and advised him to recite shorter chapters so as not to drive people away from congregational prayer. 13

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) applied the same principle to education and guidance activities, teaching that this should be done with care. To prevent his audience from becoming bored or developing an aversion to learning, he did not offer advice or hold sessions every day, but rather taught periodically. 14 The respected Abdullah ibn Mas’ud followed this Sunnah exactly and only gave lessons once a week, on Thursdays. When he was asked to give lessons every day, he reminded people of the Prophet’s practice of avoiding causing boredom and replied, “What prevents me from doing so is the fear that you might get tired of it.” 15

Thus, utmost attention must be paid to the principle of “not causing hatred.” It should not be assumed that just because religious topics are being discussed, lengthy or overly intensive lessons and sessions are justified. People should not be discouraged or made to dislike educational settings. Short, well-structured lessons that nourish people’s understanding and increase their knowledge are more beneficial than overwhelming or drawn-out sessions that cause fatigue.

Harsh Language Causes Aversion!

One of the main reasons people are driven away from truth and become disillusioned in the fields of preaching, guidance, education, and teaching is the harshness and roughness of the approach. The Prophet of Mercy (peace and blessings be upon him) stayed away from all forms of rudeness, and harshness throughout his life. Even in the most challenging and difficult times, he prioritized love, mercy, and compassion. For example, during the Battle of Uhud, when seventy of his Companions were martyred, and their bodies were mutilated, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) still chose gentleness over harshness: “It is by the mercy of God that you were gentle with them. Had you been harsh and hard-hearted, they would have surely dispersed from around you…” . Unexpected and undesirable events never altered his gentle manner; instead, his prophetic stance shaped the course of history.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was not only kind and gentle to his Companions but also to others, including those outside his community. Even in situations that might warrant a different reaction, he remained polite and often complimented those he interacted with. For instance, one day a man sought permission to meet with the Prophet. When the man’s name was mentioned, the Prophet said, “He is a bad man from his tribe,” but then added, “Let him come in.” When the man entered, the Prophet treated him kindly, engaging him in conversation with gentle words. After the man left, the respected Aisha remarked, “O Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him)! You treated him so well and spoke so kindly to him, yet you had expressed a different opinion about him earlier.” The Prophet responded, “O Aisha, when have you ever known me to be harsh or rude? Indeed, the worst person in rank on the Day of Judgment before God is the one whom people avoid because of his harshness and rudeness.”

This shows that harsh language and conduct alienate people and are in stark contrast to the Prophet’s method of gentle, loving interaction, which is essential in all forms of education, teaching, and guidance. 17

Force and Coercion Cause Aversion

In the realms of preaching, guidance, and education, forcing or pressuring people only drives them away from the teacher or guide and from the truth itself, fostering aversion and disconnection. This is why God explicitly prohibits coercion, even when it comes to accepting Islam, saying, “There is no compulsion in religion…” 18 Forcing people cannot make them true believers; it merely results in them pretending to believe, leading to hypocrisy. The kind of faith that Islam commands is not one based on compulsion but on sincere belief formed through free will.

Thus, the Qur’an instructs that invitations to faith should not be forceful but should appeal to reason, logic, and emotions, conducted “with wisdom and good advice”. 19 Furthermore, the Qur’an reminds us, “Had your Lord willed, everyone on Earth would have believed. So will you (O Prophet) compel people to become believers?” 20 emphasizing that the role of the Prophet— and indeed all messengers—is not to pressure people into faith but to invite them gently and persuasively.

In this light, the primary duty of all Prophets was not to impose faith in their communities but to extend a warm and kind invitation, guiding them with wisdom and patience, without any form of coercion.

Violence Breeds Aversion!

In education and teaching, verbal and physical violence is a misguided approach that leads to aversion. Teachers or guides who insult or belittle their students not only alienate them from learning but also from the truths they aim to convey. Verbal or physical violence instills fear, sadness, discouragement, and resentment in its recipients. Over time, those subjected to such treatment may experience a deep sense of mistrust and even depression. If the individual is humiliated in front of peers, feelings of shame and embarrassment are added to the mix. As a result, they not only grow to hate education but may also learn to perpetuate violence themselves.

The respected Anas, who served the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) for ten years as both a servant and a student, described the Prophet’s sensitivity in this regard: “Whatever I did, it was never exactly as the Prophet wished, yet he never said to me, ‘Why did you do this?’ or ‘Why didn’t you do that?’ He never struck me, spoke harshly to me, or frowned at me. Not once did he say ‘Uff’ to me or reproach me for anything.” the respected Anas also noted that when the Prophet needed to correct someone, he did so without any form of violence: “The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was never foul-mouthed, loud, or cursing others. When one of us made a mistake, he would gently say, ‘How could someone do such a thing? Shouldn’t he have had more self-respect?’” 21

Similarly, the respected Aisha testified: “He never struck anyone, not even a servant or a woman, nor did he ever hit anything except in battle.” 22 The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught, “Whoever lacks gentleness is deprived of all good,”23 encouraging everyone who seeks goodness to steer clear of any form of violence or coercion. As he said, “Gentleness beautifies whatever it touches, while harshness and violence make things ugly.”

In this way, the Prophet set a standard for education and interpersonal conduct, emphasizing that true goodness and success can only be achieved through kindness and gentleness, never through force or aggression. 24

Author: Dr. Selim Koç

Footnotes:

1.See: Al-Baqarah, 2:213; An-Nisa, 4:165; Al-Kahf, 18:56

2.Al-Baqarah, 2:119; Al-Ma’idah, 5:19; Al-A’raf, 7:188; Saba’, 34:28; Fatir, 35:24; Fussilat, 41:4; Al-Fath, 48:8

3.Tirmidhi, Birr 3

4.Muslim, Birr 43/144 (2626)

5.Bayhaqi, Shu’abu’l-Iman VI/2742; Mundhiri, At-Targhib wa’t-Tarhib, III/358

6.Taha, 20:43-44

7.Muslim, Birr 23/77 (2593)

8.Muslim, Birr 23/74 (2592)

9.See: An-Nahl, 16:125

10.See: Al Imran, 3:159

11.An-Nahl, 16:125

12.Muslim, Salat 37/182 (466)

13.See: Muslim, Salat 36/178, 179 (465)

14.See: Bukhari, Ilm 11 (68)

15.Bukhari, Ilm 12 (70); Muslim, Sifatu’l-Qiyamah 19/82 (2821)

16.Al Imran, 3:159

17.Bukhari, Adab 38; Muslim, Birr 22/73 (2591)

18.Al-Baqarah, 2:256

19.See: An-Nahl, 16:125

20.Yunus, 10:99

21.Bukhari, Adab 38

22.See: Muslim, Fada’il 20/79 (2328)

23.Muslim, Birr 23/66 (2592)

24.Muslim, Birr 23/78 (2594)