The Principles of Prophetic Education (3): “Be Tolerant!”

One of the reflections of love and compassion on education, humane treatment, relationships, and ultimately life itself is tolerance. Tolerance means not looking down on anyone, not blaming or belittling them for their mistakes, but rather covering their faults, forgiving them, and gently striving to correct their wrongs. It also means acting with balance towards those with different beliefs or viewpoints.

Tolerance is the essence of the exemplary character of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him). This virtue is an important practice (Sunnah) not only in education and teaching but also in establishing and developing healthy relationships with the society we live in. It is a fundamental principle for producing constructive and lasting solutions to the problems encountered in the home, educational institutions, and social life. Otherwise, intolerance and violence take the place of tolerance, which, in turn, robs humanity of the love, respect, compassion, trust, peace, and harmony that it so desperately needs.

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) exemplified the most beautiful examples of tolerance, one of the core values of Islam. At a time when everyone was consumed by hostility and violence in an effort to impose their own views and oppressed others to eliminate differences, he adopted and demonstrated Islam’s understanding of tolerance, rooted in love, mercy, and peace, as a guiding principle in both his personal relationships and his approach to education. As a teacher, his educational practices and the commands and prohibitions he outlined in this regard serve as a model for all parents and teachers until the Day of Judgment, providing numerous guiding principles.

Do Not Look Down on Others, Be Tolerant!

One of the key principles the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) followed in education was to never look down on anyone; rather, he approached others with tolerance in the name of moral development. The fundamental guideline he applied and recommended in this regard is: “It is enough of an evil for a person to look down on another.” 1 This is because God created humans with honor and breathed into them from His spirit. 2

To belittle and insult what the Exalted Creator has created with dignity is to follow the path of Satan. Satan, driven by arrogance, looked down on the first human, Prophet Adam, because he was created from clay, and in doing so, rebelled against the command of his Lord. As a result, he was cast out of divine presence and cursed until the Day of Judgment. 3

Therefore, those who consider themselves superior and view others with contempt embark on a path that leads to loss, both for themselves and others.

For this reason, neither parents, teachers, nor mentors can instill value in those they address by belittling, scolding, or looking down on them. However, by respecting them, listening to their different ideas and thoughts, responding to their small or large mistakes with tolerance, and making them feel valued through these actions, much can be conveyed, and their souls can be adorned with truth. This is why the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) never pressured those he was educating. He conveyed his message and intent with a gentle tone. If there were any shortcomings or mistakes, he would meet them with tolerance and then strive to teach the correct way. The respected Anas Ibn Malik, who served the Prophet for ten years and was also one of his students, expressed the Prophet’s profound tolerance and kindness as follows:

“I served the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) for ten years. Not everything I did was to his liking. Yet, during my time of service, he never said to me about anything I did, ‘Why did you do that?’ nor about something I did not do, ‘Why didn’t you do that?’ He never scolded me, blamed me, said a hurtful word, frowned or struck me. He never even said ‘off’ to me once.” 4

In summary, the starting point of education is not to belittle or demean individual for their mistakes, shortcomings, or different thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs, but rather to value them. Arrogance, along with harsh behavior, insults, or offensive words, holds no educational value. On the contrary, such negative attitudes and actions have detrimental effects on the feelings of the person being addressed and destroy the educational environment. This approach not only distances a person from others but also alienates them from the educator’s message, the educational institution, and even from knowledge and morality itself. Regarding this, the Companions described the conduct of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) as follows: “He never used harsh words or displayed rude behavior towards anyone. He never quarreled with people in the marketplace, nor did he respond to evil with evil; rather, he was forgiving and acted with tolerance.”5

Be Tolerant and Conceal Faults!

Beyond overlooking mistakes, tolerance also requires concealing personal faults, sins, and shortcomings. When a person’s mistakes are publicly exposed or their sins are revealed, it means they have been cast aside from education and guidance. No one wants their flaws or errors to be known by others, nor will they accept such exposure. Those whose faults are exposed harbor resentment and hostility towards those responsible. If parents are the ones who do this, children and youth become alienated from their parents and withdraw from the home. If a teacher exposes their students’ faults, the students will detach from the teacher, avoid attending class, and even if forced to attend, they won’t engage. They may appear to listen, but they gain nothing from it, closing themselves off completely. Instead of focusing on learning, they become determined not to learn.

Thus, a fundamental principle in education is not only to tolerate a child’s or student’s mistakes and sins but also to cover them, giving them a chance to improve, creating an opportunity for correction, and guiding them to help them along the way.

The foundational principle the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) established in this regard is: “Whoever conceals a brother’s fault in this world, God will conceal their faults in the Hereafter.” 6

As a result, when a child or youth see that their faults are approached with tolerance and even concealed, they are deeply affected by this behavior; they feel indebted to their family or teacher. They come to believe that sincere efforts are being made to help them, and in response to this tolerance and kindness, they entrust themselves fully to their educators.

Thus, approaching mistakes with tolerance and covering them helps create and strengthen the environment of trust that is indispensable in education. At the same time, this kind of behavior instills in the individual the “ethic of tolerance and concealing faults.” The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) also highlighted the profound importance of this in education, saying: “Whoever conceals a brother’s faults is like one who has brought a dead person back to life.”7

Here are a few examples:

The Young Man Who Mocked the Call to Prayer: Abu Mahzura

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) understood human nature and approached people with patience, tolerance, and wisdom. Let’s hear from Abu Mahzura, who experienced this firsthand:

“The Prophet was returning from the Battle of Hunayn. I was with a group of ten young men from Mecca. At that time, I was not a Muslim, nor did I intend to become one. It must have been time for prayer because the muezzin began to call the adhan (call to prayer). My friends and I moved aside, listening to the adhan, but mocking it and repeating it in a mocking tone.

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) noticed us and realized from our voices that we were mocking the adhan. A little later, he had us call him and asked which of us had the most beautiful voice. All my friends pointed to me. Then he taught me the words and asked me to recite the adhan. Even though I didn’t like it at all, I had no choice but to do so in front of him. When I finished, he gave me some money. Then, he kissed me on the forehead and patted me on the back. Encouraged by his kind approach, I asked, ‘O Messenger of God! (peace and blessings be upon him) May I recite the adhan at the Kaaba?’ He said I could. From that moment, the hatred I had for him completely disappeared, and my heart filled with faith and love. I returned to Mecca and, as per his instruction, began serving as the muezzin.”8

As seen in this example, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) did not scold the young Abu Mahzura for mocking and making light of the adhan by saying, “How can you make fun of the call to prayer?” Instead, he approached his mistake with tolerance and asked him to recite the adhan. Not only did he listen to the entire adhan, but he also praised his voice and rewarded him. Abu Mahzura, who had been expecting to be reprimanded or even punished, was softened by the tolerance, appreciation, and praise he received. As a result, he began to love the Prophet, whom he had previously hated, and eventually embraced Islam.

Let Them Be, O Umar!”

A close relative of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) passed away, and women came to offer their condolences and began to cry. Seeing this, the respected Umar stood up and tried to silence them and send them away. Upon this, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Let them be, O Umar! The heart has been struck by a fresh calamity, and the pain is new. Therefore, the eyes may shed tears, and there is no harm in that.”9

Similarly, when the respected Umar tried to silence Umm Sa’d, who was crying at the funeral of Sa’d Ibn Mu’adh, the Prophet responded, “Calm down, O Umar! Let her cry. Except for Umm Sa’d, the crying of others may contain falsehood, but everything she says is true.”10 As seen in this incident, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) did not approach the women with harsh words such as “Why are you crying? Be quiet and stop crying!” Instead, he gently reminded Umar, who was disturbed by their weeping, that their grief was fresh and advised him to be kind and tolerant towards them.

Tolerance Shown to the Christians of Najran

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) sent emissaries and letters to many countries and tribes to convey the message of Islam and invite them to embrace the faith. One such group was the Christians of Najran. When they received the Prophet’s letter, they assessed the situation among themselves and sent a delegation of 60 representatives to meet him. The delegation arrived in Medina and entered the Mosque of the Prophet (Masjid al-Nabawi) one afternoon. As the Prophet was preparing to perform the afternoon prayer with his companions, the delegation turned to the eastern side of the mosque to perform their own religious rites. When some of the companions attempted to prevent them, the Prophet said, “Let them be!” and allowed them to practice their worship according to their own beliefs. He even hosted the delegation in the mosque for fifteen days. 11

As seen in this event, despite some companions trying to obstruct them, the Prophet did not say, “How dare you conduct your rites in my mosque?” Instead, he acted with profound tolerance, granting them permission to worship according to their own faith. Moreover, he went further by hosting them in the mosque for fifteen days. It was this tolerance and wise behavior that soon opened the door for the people of Najran to embrace Islam.

Conclusion

Tolerance is a virtuous behavior appreciated not only in the Sunnah but also in the Quran. The verse, “Whoever is patient and forgives—indeed, that is of the matters requiring determination” 12 clearly highlights the value of tolerance in the sight of God. Tolerance involves patience and a degree of forgiveness.

God (SWT) teaches the Prophet and all those engaged in education and outreach through him to maintain “beautiful conduct,” which means upholding tolerance and forbearance regardless of the negative or harsh behavior of others: “Indeed, We did not create the heavens and the earth and whatever is between them in play. We did not create them except in truth, but most of them do not know. Indeed, the Hour is coming, so forgive with gracious forgiveness” 13

In another verse, the Prophet, who was commanded to show tolerance even to non-believers, is instructed: “But pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. Say ‘Peace be upon you!’ because they will understand when the time comes.”14 This indicates that tolerance will, over time, break down their ignorance, bigotry, and harshness, bringing them closer to the truth and righteousness.

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) approached those who made mistakes and erroneous behaviors with the principle of “They do not know yet!” and “Ignorance is not disgraceful, and those who do not know and have a valid excuse cannot be blamed!” He elevated them to the status of an exemplary generation for all of humanity within a relatively short period of 23 years.

In response to the wrong words and behaviors he saw and heard, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) acted with utmost kindness and tolerance, being extremely careful not to damage the veil of love and respect between himself and his interlocutors. He did not confront people with their mistakes or humiliate or hurt anyone in public.

Those who expect tolerance from others must themselves be tolerant. As the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Be tolerant, so that you may be treated with tolerance.” Otherwise, those who adopt contempt as their behavior will find themselves unable to receive tolerance when they are in need of it.

A tolerant person always focuses on the common beliefs and positive aspects of others, building relationships on shared ground. Conversely, an intolerant person focuses on the differences in opinions and behaviors of others, emphasizing one negative comment or action over ten positive and good behaviors. As a result, they often sacrifice nine innocent virtues for a single mistake. In contrast, the measure that the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) provided for humanity is: “No believer should despise or disdain a believing spouse, brother, or student due to any of their traits. Even if he dislikes one characteristic, he should appreciate another and remain content with them.”

Tolerance is the sibling of humility, while intolerance is the sibling of pride and arrogance. As the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) stated, “Pride is to reject the truth and to look down upon people.” God, while casting down those who act with pride and arrogance, elevates those who act with humility and tolerance. In summary, as Rumi expressed, an educator should be “like the sea in tolerance.”

Author: Dr. Selim Koç

Dr. Selim Koç, one of the authors on our site, completed his undergraduate studies at the Faculty of Theology, Uludağ University, in 1987. He earned his master’s degree in Hadith sciences from the same faculty in 1992, and later completed his Ph.D. in Tafsir at the Institute of Social Sciences, Sakarya University, in 2002. During these years, he also continued to take private lessons in Tafsir, Hadith, Fiqh, Kalam, and Sufism. Having spent years studying and writing articles in the field of Sirah, Dr. Koç has been contributing regularly to our site for the past eight years. He has lived in Mecca and Medina for about 1.5 years, visiting many locations related to the life of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) and conducting special research and investigations.

Footnotes:

1.Muslim, Birr 32; Abu Dawud, Adab 35; Tirmidhi, Birr 18

2.See Surah Al-Isra, 17:70; Surah Al-Hijr, 15:29

3.See Surah Al-Hijr, 15:30-35

4.Abu Dawud, Adab 1

5.Tirmidhi, Birr 69

6.Muslim, Birr 58, 72

7.Bukhari, Mazalim 3; and see also Abu Dawud, Adab 38

8.Nasai, Adhan 5,6; Ibn Majah, Adhan 2

9.Nasai, (1974); and for a similar case, see Ibn Majah (1576 or 1587)

10.Ali al-Muttaki, Kanz al-Ummal, XV/42483

11.Ibn Hisham, Sirah II/224; Ibn Sa’d, Tabaqat, I/357

12.Surah Ash-Shura, 42:43

13.Surah Al-Hijr, 15:85

14.Surah Az-Zukhruf, 43:89

15.Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, Musnad, I/249 (2233); Haythami, Zawaid, X/196

16.Muslim, 1469

17.Muslim, Iman 147; Abu Dawud, Libas 26; Tirmidhi, Birr 61

18.Iraqi, Tahrij al-Ihya, I/70