The Principles of Prophetic Education (7): “Value Them!”
One of the fundamental principles of prophetic education is the principle of “valuing” the person being addressed. Those who genuinely care about and prioritize education show value and respect to the people they are engaging with. As a psychological need, human beings expect others to trust them, value them, and show respect to them. From this perspective, in the development of the human soul and capabilities, “valuing and respecting” the person is a fundamental principle. 1 The Creator of humankind, God, also values the human being. This value is expressed in various ways in the Qur’an, where humans are described as “caliphs” (representatives of God on earth). By highlighting this description, the task assigned to them (caliphate) is brought into focus, and even the angels are commanded to show respect for this status (through prostration).
Furthermore, the Qur’an mentions that humans were created in the best form 2 and also states:
“Indeed, We have honored the children of Adam. We carry them on land and sea, provide them with good and lawful sustenance, and have favored them above many of those We created.” 3 This declaration clearly expresses the value given to humans. Additionally, verses that mention how everything in the heavens and earth has been subjected to human control and made to serve them also indicate the value attributed to mankind. 4
In this regard, it is crucial for those responsible for the education and upbringing of individuals to follow this Divine manner and show value to the people they are engaging with. This is vital for the success of education. Those who do not see each individual as “a comprehensive mirror of the names of God” and fail to recognize their worth cannot instill a sense of true value in their students. Indeed, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) emphasized the value of human beings during a circumambulation of the Ka’ba, saying: “O Ka’ba! How beautiful you are, and how sweet your fragrance is! How great you are, and how great your sanctity is! But by God, in whose hand is my soul, the value of a believer’s life, property, and honor is greater in the sight of God than you.” 5
The Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) Value for His Companions
As a reflection of his lofty character, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) would show great respect and value to the people around him. He was always kind, understanding, and courteous to everyone, regardless of whether they were rich or poor, slave or free, or held a position of power. He treated everyone with the same graciousness. When he met people, he would greet them with a smile, exchange pleasantries, joke with them from time to time, and inquire about their well-being. 6 In his effort to spread these good manners throughout society, he also recommended that his Companions adopt the practice of smiling and greeting everyone, whether they knew them or not, as part of his Sunnah.
The Prophet would give his full attention to those he sat with, engage with them, and find different ways to compliment each individual. It was due to this value he placed on people that those who spent time with him felt as if they were the most loved. In fact, many of them believed that there was no one more valuable to the Prophet than themselves. The respected Amr ibn al-’As said, “The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) would sit with everyone, whether they were good or bad, speak to them face-to-face, and win their hearts.” He shared his personal experience, saying: “Once when I was with him, he turned to me and spoke with me face-to-face. His attention made me believe that I was the best of my people. So I asked him, ‘Am I better or is Abu Bakr?’ He replied, ‘Abu Bakr.’ Then I asked, ‘Am I better or is Umar?’ He said, ‘Umar.’ Finally, I asked, ‘Am I better or is Uthman?’ He responded, ‘Uthman.’ After that, I stopped asking, and I regretted even asking him those questions in the first place.” 7
If You Value Someone, Show Compassion and Respect!
Valuing people has numerous reflections in both education and everyday life. Primarily, “compassion” in interactions and relationships is one manifestation of this. This is why the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “He who does not show mercy to our young and does not respect our elders is not one of us.” 8 Through this, he emphasized that elders show their value for the young through compassion, while the young show their value for elders through respect. After all, the abstract concept of “valuing” can only be demonstrated through actions. Therefore, the greatest reflection of this principle in education is the cultivation of love, respect, and compassion.
In this regard, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) not only valued everyone, starting with his closest family, but he also made them feel their worth. For instance, he would take his grandchildren into his arms, hug them affectionately, and kiss them. He would not stop there but would also pray, “O my Lord! Show mercy to them! I love them dearly and show great compassion toward them—so love them too!” 9 Through this special supplication, he would crown his expression of love. Furthermore, he made his affection clear to everyone by saying, “Husayn is from me, and I am from Husayn…” 10
Once, a Bedouin who saw the Prophet hugging and kissing his grandchildren asked in surprise, “Do you kiss your children? I have ten children, and I have never kissed any of them!” The Prophet of Mercy (peace and blessings be upon him) responded, “He who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.” 11 He added, “If God has removed compassion from your heart, what can I do?”
Through this, the Prophet gently warned parents who fail to make their children feel valued, whether through a kiss, a gentle touch on the head, or a kind word.
If You Value Someone, Show Empathy and Sympathy!
One of the indicators of valuing others in education is approaching them with empathy and sympathy. Our Lord, who introduces the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) to us as a teacher, guide, and leader, says: “There has certainly come to you a Messenger from among yourselves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; [he is] concerned over you, and to the believers is kind and merciful.” 12 This verse highlights the Prophet’s empathy and sympathy. Furthermore, it is stated that “The Prophet is closer to the believers than their own selves.” 13
The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) also connected empathy and sympathy with faith when teaching his Companions and the wider Muslim community. He said, “None of you has truly believed until he desires for others what he desires for himself.” 14 By expressing this, he set a high standard for them to reach, explaining it with a powerful example: “The believers, in their mutual love, compassion, and valuing one another—in feeling and sharing each other’s difficulties and supporting one another—are like a single body. When one part of the body is in pain, the rest shares in its sleeplessness and fever.” 15 To prevent any laxity in this matter, he also gave a stern warning: “Whoever does not feel the concerns of the Muslims in his heart and does not strive to solve them is not one of them!” 16
If You Value Someone, Compliment, Thank, and Appreciate Them!
Another important way of showing value in education is by offering compliments, expressing gratitude, and showing appreciation when it is deserved. As noted by one of the key figures in modern psychology, William James, “The deepest craving in human nature is the desire to be appreciated.” Appreciation not only motivates individuals but also makes them feel valued. In this regard, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) linked gratitude to others with gratitude to God, saying: “Whoever does not thank people, cannot thank God.” 17 This is because someone who fails to recognize the goodness of others cannot truly appreciate the One who provides those blessings.
In Islamic ethics, one of the fundamental responsibilities is to express gratitude to the people who are the means by which God’s blessings reach us and to show them that we value their efforts. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) emphasized this by saying: “Whoever receives a kindness should repay it if possible. If not, they should express gratitude and praise. By doing so, they have fulfilled their obligation of thanks. But anyone who fails to reciprocate is guilty of ingratitude.” 18 Ingratitude is the inability to recognize good and appreciate it.
The Prophet valued his children, grandchildren, and Companions, offering them compliments and instilling in them a spirit of gratitude and appreciation through his actions. For example, he would take his grandsons Hasan and Husayn in his arms and say, “Hasan and Husayn are my two fragrant blossoms in this world,” 19 showing them how precious they were to him.
Even towards those who were once his enemies, if the Prophet wished to win their hearts, he would treat them with respect and make them feel valued through his words and actions. For instance, when Ikrimah, the son of Abu Jahl, came to the Prophet in deep remorse after the conquest of Mecca, the Prophet greeted him warmly, saying, “Welcome, O noble rider of the emigrants!” He even stood up to receive him. Deeply moved by this gesture, Ikrimah embraced Islam on the spot. He later recalled that moment, saying, “For the rest of my life, I never forgot the Prophet’s noble behavior and the compliment he gave me.”
If You Value Someone, Spend Time and Make an Effort!
Loving and valuing someone is directly related to the time spent with them. A person who values their children, students, or those they guide will take the time to be with them and engage with them. Particularly for children, it’s not just about giving them toys or games but spending time with them, showing interest, and being present. This is crucial for understanding them, making them feel valued, and preparing them for life. As the Qur’an states: “Man will have nothing except what he strives for.” 20 One of the greatest acts of kindness toward someone you are helping to grow is dedicating time to them.
The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) was always among his Companions, living his life with them despite all the difficulties. He had integrated with them so much that outsiders often could not distinguish him from the rest of the group, leading them to ask, “Which of you is Muhammad?” 21 or “Which of you is the leader of this people?” 22 His uncle, Abbas, felt great sorrow seeing the Prophet endure many difficulties and hardships from being so immersed in the public. Out of concern, he suggested building a special place and a throne for the Prophet to relieve him of these struggles. However, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) replied, “No! I will continue to live among them until God takes me from their midst and brings me to peace. Let them step on my heels, pull on my clothes, and disturb me with the dust they raise!” 23
He then shared this truth with all his Companions and followers: “A Muslim who mixes with people and endures their hardships is better than one who does not mix with people and does not endure their hardships.” 24
If You Value Someone, Don’t Hide It – Say It!
In the principle of “valuing” others in education, it is important to express this value verbally as well. The recipients may not always understand it through actions alone, and even if they do, verbal expression holds a greater educational value. Words confirm and reinforce the meaning behind actions. There are many examples from the life of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) in this regard. Let’s look at one example:
Zahir Ibn Haram was a Companion who lived in the desert. From time to time, he would visit Medina, meet the Prophet, and bring him gifts from the special products of his village. Before he left, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) would make sure to provide him with basic necessities that were not available in the desert, saying, “Zahir is our man from the countryside, and we are his people from the city,” showing his affection for him.
One day, while Zahir was selling his goods in the market, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) approached him from behind and covered his eyes with his hands. Zahir, not knowing who it was, began to struggle, saying, “Who is it? Let me go!” Then, catching a glimpse, he realized it was the Prophet and relaxed. The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) jokingly called out to the crowd, “Who will buy this slave?” Zahir replied, “O Messenger of God! (peace and blessings be upon him) You won’t get much for me; I’m worth nothing!” But the Prophet reassured him, saying, “Zahir, even if people don’t see your worth, you are valuable in the sight of God.” 25 With this, the Prophet not only affirmed Zahir’s value in his own eyes but also pointed out his worth in the sight of God.
Conclusion
In education and upbringing, valuing those you engage with is just as crucial as showing them love and compassion. Parents, teachers, and mentors should never miss opportunities to make their students or children feel valued; in fact, they should create such opportunities. Through words of appreciation and gestures of respect, they should convey to others—both verbally and through actions—that they are as valuable as they deserve to be and as much as they can handle. Those who make others feel valued elevate themselves to a higher, more influential position in the eyes of those they teach or guide. This, in turn, has a profoundly positive impact on education and development. It should be remembered that values are imparted by valuing others. After all, people do not invest in what they do not value, and those who are not valued will not exert effort to gain something positive in return.
Author: Dr. Selim Koç
Footnotes:
1.See: Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:30-34.
2.See: Surah At-Tin, 95:4; Surah At-Taghabun, 64:3; Surah As-Sajda, 32:9.
3.Surah Al-Isra, 17:70.
4.There are many verses on this subject. See: Surah Ibrahim, 14:32-33; Surah Ar-Ra’d, 13:2; Surah Al-Hijr, 15:28-29; Surah An-Nahl, 16:12-14; Surah Al-Hajj, 22:36, 65; Surah Luqman, 31:20.
5.Tirmidhi, Birr 85; Ibn Majah, Fitan 2 (3932).
6.For more information, see: Tirmidhi, Sharh al-Shama’il al-Nabi, p. 275-291.
7.See: Tirmidhi, Sharh al-Shama’il, p. 407.
8.Tirmidhi, Birr 15.
9.Bukhari, Fada’il as-Sahabah 18; Muslim, Fada’il as-Sahabah 57-59.
10.Ibn Majah, Muqaddimah 11; Hakim, Mustadrak III/177.
11.Muslim, Fada’il 65; Tirmidhi, Birr 12.
12.Surah At-Tawbah, 9:128.
13.See: Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:6.
14.Bukhari, Iman 6; Muslim, Iman 71 (45); Tirmidhi, Sifat al-Qiyamah 60 (3517); Nasa’i, Iman 19 (3, 115).
15.Bukhari, Adab 27; Muslim, Birr 66.
16.Tabarani, Mu’jam al-Awsat, I/151, VIII/7; Zayn al-Din al-Iraqi, Takhrij al-Ihya, II/261.
17.Tirmidhi, Birr 35; Abu Dawud, Adab 12.
18.Tirmidhi, Birr 86; Abu Dawud, Adab 12.
19.Tirmidhi, Manaqib 31.
20.Surah An-Najm, 53:39.
21.See: Bukhari, Ilm 57; Muslim (12); Abu Dawud, Salah 23.
22.Acluni, Kashf al-Khafa, I/561.
23.Haythami, IX/21; Ibn Sa’d, II/193.
24.Tirmidhi, Qiyamah 55 (2507).
25.Tirmidhi, Sharh al-Shifa, Musnad, III/161; Abu Ya’la, Musnad, IV/173,174.
