The Principles of Prophetic Education (8): “Speak Beautifully!”
One of the principles of prophetic education is to speak beautifully. A crucial aspect of instruction and upbringing is the manner and style in which the audience is addressed, including the chosen words and expressions. It is through words and sentences that the speaker connects with the audience. Therefore, when a topic is being discussed, a lesson is being taught, a reaction is being expressed, or a truth and purpose is being conveyed, the choice of words is as important as their delivery style and tone. In this sense, the careful pronunciation of words, which gives them a kind of spirit and form, adds to their inherent beauty. Consequently, cold and artificial addresses, devoid of love, compassion, respect, and sincerity, cannot build communication bridges between the two parties, cannot convey truths, and will not create the desired impact on the audience.
Be Sincere When Speaking!
If sincerity—meaning goodwill and genuine intention—is absent from an address, the words will not have an effect on emotions. Sincerity is the very essence of this endeavor. Indeed, the audience’s need is as much for genuineness as it is for content. This is why the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Religion is sincere advice,” emphasizing the importance of heartfelt addresses and counsel. When asked, “For whom?” he replied, “For God and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), for the leaders of the Muslims, and for all Muslims.”1 In this context, the Qur’an defines and criticizes hypocrites, stating, “…They say with their tongues what is not in their hearts…”2 and particularly emphasizes their duplicity, highlighting the insincerity in their words.
The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) focused on sincerity when addressing his companions; he avoided artificial words and behaviors during his addresses and conversations, 3 encouraging sincerity. He prohibited extending speeches out of a desire to show off knowledge or going to extremes and crossing limits.4 By choosing words filled with sincerity, he captured the hearts of his audience even before he began speaking and effectively resolved the issues at hand. 5
On the day the spoils of Hunayn were distributed, some young men from Medina, unable to comprehend the wisdom behind the Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) generous distribution of his personal share to those whose hearts he wished to warm to Islam, began to question the distribution. In response, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gathered the Ansar in a valley and began his address with, “O community of Ansar!” He then enumerated some of the blessings God had bestowed upon them, warning them and explaining the wisdom behind his actions. Each time, he called out, “O community of Ansar!” reminding them of their mission and touching their hearts. He concluded his speech with the words, “While people are returning to their homes with their camels and sheep, are you not content to return with the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) to your homeland? If it were not for the Hijra, I would have been one of the Ansar. If people were to enter one valley and the Ansar another, I would enter the valley of the Ansar. O God! Have mercy on the Ansar, their children, and the children of their children!”
Emphasizing their qualities of being the Ansar, this address deeply moved the Muslim men of Medina, who bowed their heads in regret and began to weep.6
Thus, the choice of words in an address and sincerity at that moment are the most effective forms of influence. Indeed, all kinds of goodness and beauty can only flourish in an atmosphere of sincerity. Without sincerity and heartfelt addresses, the processes of teaching and upbringing cannot be fully realized. As Rumi expressed, without sincerity, knowledge, accumulation, competence, qualifications, and experience become mere accessories. Furthermore, sincerity serves as an important means to compensate for deficiencies, rectify mistakes, and even create new possibilities in the midst of impossibilities.
Choose the Best Address!
The impact of words, addresses, and rhetoric on emotions cannot be underestimated. The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Indeed, there is magic in expression,”7 highlighting the powerful effect of chosen words. The Qur’an also states, “Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction,”8 which emphasizes the importance of finding the most accurate and wise words in an address and adhering to the most effective and appropriate style while expressing them. Thus, choosing and articulating the best form of address is the first fundamental principle. The Qur’an commands, “And tell My servants to say what is best!”9 This command should be a fundamental guideline not only in familial and social relationships but also in the educational sphere. One of the essential qualities of believers is to speak “good words”: “Who is better in speech than one who invites to God, does righteousness, and says, ‘Indeed, I am of the Muslims’?”10
Therefore, those who guide others or are responsible for their education should always pay attention to the subtleties and beauty of addresses and rhetoric in their speeches, adhering to the rules of etiquette and politeness in communication. Otherwise, harsh and coarse speech contradicts human nature and spirit, obscuring the truth to be conveyed and provoking a negative response from the audience.
According to the Qur’an, bad words are like “a worthless tree that is uprooted from the earth, having no stability.”1 In this regard, bad words lack the ability and quality to enter the heart or emotions of the listener and confer value. In contrast, the well-chosen words in beautiful addresses are “like a good tree whose root is firmly fixed and its branches are in the sky; it yields its fruit at all times by permission of its Lord.”12 Such words continue to influence hearts and emotions, bearing fruits of morality and virtue in the listener’s life.
Because of the significance and value of “beautiful addresses,” the Messenger of God peace and blessings be upon him) would change the names of individuals that had negative connotations and would command that children be given beautiful names. He would also address people with multiple names and nicknames with their most beautiful ones. Once, while explaining the beauty he sought in names, he stated, “The names most beloved and acceptable to God are Abdullah and Abdurrahman.”13 Indeed, when examining the life of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him), it becomes evident that both his verbal and practical Sunnah consistently followed this direction in his familial and social life. This is why he said, “A believer has the right over his brother to call him by the name he loves most,”14 emphasizing that this is also a right of the servant.
Be Compassionate in Your Address!
A principle that must be observed at every level and stage of education is to always uphold love, respect, and compassion in addresses. The Qur’an narrates the expressions “O my little son! O my dear!” that prophets used even under the most difficult and adverse conditions in their communications with their children, highlighting the value of loving and compassionate addresses in creating a healthy environment for communication and education. When his ship sails through mountainous waves, Prophet Noah calls to his rebellious son with great love and compassion: “O my dear! Come aboard with us; do not be among those who are drowned in denial!”15 When inviting his disbelieving father to Islam, Prophet Abraham begins each sentence with “O my dear father!” addressing him with a heart full of love and compassion.16 Prophet Luqman also begins every piece of advice to his son with the address “O my dear son!” preparing the ground for his words to have a more profound effect on his son’s emotions.17
Similarly, when Prophet Jacob hears his son Joseph narrate his dream, he lovingly warns him, “O my dear! Do not tell your dream to your brothers, lest they devise against you a plot…” addressing him with compassion and taking precautions to protect him. Years later, when Prophet Joseph meets his father at the entrance of Egypt, he addresses him compassionately after taking his throne, saying, “O my dear father!”18 Prophet Abraham also expresses his love and compassion for his son Ishmael while mentioning that he saw in a dream that he was to sacrifice him, calling out “O my dear son!”
Having received ample lessons in love and compassion from his father, Prophet Ishmael respectfully conveys his feelings to his father regarding the sacrifice, saying, “O my dear father! Do not hesitate or think too much; do what you have been commanded by God. With God’s permission, you will see that I am among the patient and resilient.”19
All these examples demonstrate that the prophets have always chosen words that maintain love, compassion, and respect when addressing their audiences, regardless of the circumstances. The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him), in communicating with his children and grandchildren, chose words that express love and compassion, such as “My dear, my little girl, my sweet basil (my rose), my beloved, the master of the youth,”20 etc. This clearly shows the significance and value of the words used in education.
Speak with Kindness!
One important quality that adds both value and strength to speech in education and upbringing is the softness that governs it. Gentle words reach the very doors of emotions, open them, and settle inside, eventually beginning to bear fruit over time. This is why God instructed Prophet Moses and Prophet Aaron to address the rebellious and oppressive Pharaoh with, “Speak to him with gentle words. Perhaps he will be reminded or at least show some fear.”21 This command encourages them to prefer a gentle style in their teaching and communication. Words spoken gently embrace, provoke thought, foster closeness, generate affection, and soften human emotions, making them ready to understand. Conversely, harsh and coarse words bring along cruelty and may even lead to the use of physical force, which has no educational value whatsoever.
Moreover, the true beauty and effect of speech lie not only in its truth but also in its softness. This is why the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) pointed out the importance of this attribute in addresses by saying, “God is Kind (Rafik). He loves kindness and gentleness in dealing with His servants. He will grant results for kind words and gentle behavior that He would not grant for harsh and rigid words and actions.”22 Therefore, the desired success and outcomes in education and teaching are achieved not through harshness, rudeness, or violence, but through kindness (rifq). This is why our Most Honorable Guide stated a fundamental principle of education and upbringing: “Whoever is devoid of kindness/gentleness is deprived of all good.”23
Do Not Give Bad Nicknames!
In education and teaching, it is crucial to avoid mocking the recipient and not to assign them bad nicknames. Both mockery and the use of nicknames imply belittling and degrading the recipient, which can contribute nothing to education. Furthermore, such speech can harm the recipient’s dignity, distancing them from the environment of knowledge and education. The Quran prohibits such forms of address and behavior in relationships: “O you who have believed! Let people not ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames.”24 Thus, addressing someone with names and nicknames that they dislike or that suggest insult falls within the boundaries of this prohibition.
In this context, parents, teachers, guides, and leaders should never address their recipients with terms that express deficiency, fault, or mistake. For instance, addressing a poor person with a nickname that implies their poverty, calling a person with a disability by a name that highlights their condition, or labeling someone who has made a mistake with terms that remind them of their error is neither humane nor Islamic: “A Muslim is a brother to another Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor does he disgrace him or belittle him. It is sufficient for a person to be considered wicked if he belittles his Muslim brother.”25
In a hadith where our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) defines what a believer is not, he states, “A believer is not one who injures the honor of others through slander and gossip, curses people, or speaks derogatory words to others.”26 This clearly prohibits the act of insulting and belittling others with offensive speech. However, the measure recommended by our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in this regard is to address the recipient in a way that they will love and appreciate. As he states, “Among the deeds most beloved to God after the obligatory acts is to make a Muslim happy.”27
In this context, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) set a beautiful example for his companions with his words and provided the best examples for his community. For instance, he addressed the respected Abu Bakr with the nickname “Atiq,” which means “one who is freed from Hellfire,” and “As-Sıddiq,” meaning “the truthful.” He called the respected Umar “al-Faruq,” which signifies “the one who distinguishes between truth and falsehood and judges with justice.” For the respected Osman, due to his marriage to two of the Prophet’s daughters, he used the nickname “Zinnurayn,” meaning “the owner of two lights.” He referred to his son-in-law the respected Ali, whom he described as the “gate of knowledge,” with names like “Haydar,” “Al-Murtaza,” and “Asadullahi’l-Ghalib,” highlighting his humility by calling him “Abu Turab,” meaning “father of the soil.” He addressed his uncle the respected Hamza with the titles “Asadullah,” meaning “the lion of God,” and “Sayyidu’sh-Shuhada,” meaning “the master of martyrs.” The respected Khalid was referred to as “Seyfullah,” meaning “the sword of God.” Through these names, he addressed them according to their virtues and good qualities, presenting them as examples for the community.
Conclusion
It is possible to find many more examples of this in the life of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him). Through such forms of address, he appreciated and motivated his companions. They were very pleased with his words and felt a great sense of gratitude toward him, striving to honor these beautiful titles. Therefore, this Sunnah should never be neglected in strengthening the love, respect, and sincerity between parents and children, as well as between teachers and students, as it significantly enhances success in education. Beautiful speech is indeed the most appropriate form of address. The goal of this accuracy is to ensure that the speech aligns with reality and adheres to the fundamental principles conveyed by the Qur’an and Sunnah.
This speech should be imbued with love, respect, sincerity, and authenticity, free from hypocrisy, ostentation, and arrogance. It should be characterized by kindness, gentleness, politeness, and friendliness, flowing not just from the lips but springing from the heart. It serves to bring believers closer together, strengthen the bonds of brotherhood, and endear parents to their children, teachers to their students, and mentors to their disciples.
In summary, a person who speaks beautifully embodies warmth in their gaze, tranquility in their conversation, love and compassion in their expressions, and consistent respect in their actions.
Author: Dr. Selim Koç
Footnotes:
1.Muslim, Faith 95
2.See Al-Imran 3:167; Al-Fath 48:11
3.Tirmidhi, Ethics 72
4.See Muslim, Knowledge 4 (2670)
5.See Bukhari, Knowledge 11
6.See Waqidi, II/353-355
7.Bukhari, Marriage 47; Abu Dawud, Ethics 95; Tirmidhi, Ethics 63
8.An-Nahl 16:125
9.Al-Isra 17:53
10.Fussilat 41:33
11.Ibrahim 14:26
12.Ibrahim 14:24
13.Muslim, Manners 2
14.See Tabarani, Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabir, IV/13 (3499)
15.Hud 11:42
16.See Maryam 19:42-45
17.See Luqman 31:13-19
18.See Yusuf 12:100
19.See As-Saffat 37:102
20.See Bukhari, Peace 9; Muslim, Virtues 54; Abu Dawud, Good Manners 8; Tirmidhi, Virtues 46, Knowledge 16; Haythami, Zawaa’id, IX/181, 187
21.Taha 20:44
22.Muslim, Kindness 23:77 (2593)
23.Muslim, Kindness 23:74 (2592)
24.Al-Hujurat 49:11
25.Tirmidhi, Kindness 18
26.Tirmidhi, Kindness 48
27.Tabarani, Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabir (10923)
